A Brand Spanking New Article on Impact Play
So funny story, I claimed that I’d use this account for both history and human sexuality and I never really did the human sexuality aspect…
Let’s change that by talking about spanking, flogging, and impact play.
What is impact play? Well, impact play is pretty much an umbrella term for a bunch of kinks which involve a dominant landing blows upon a submissive for sexual pleasure. The most common form of impact play is of course spanking, which will make up the bulk of this article. Though it can also include things like flogging, whipping, punching, and face slapping.
So for this blog, I figured I could do a brief run-down on what is impact play, some general safety around it, do a brief discussion on why I find it so sexually pleasing, and then I’ll showing off my not so meager collection of impact play toys and rate them.
So, with that framework laid out, how about we settle in and finally pop the cherry by talking about sex?
What is Impact Play?
Well, like I said in my introduction, impact play is a bunch of kinks which revolve around the idea of the dominant landing blows upon the submissive. However, how they choose to do this can vary greatly, with each method focusing upon different regions of the body and having drastically different levels of intensity and safety concerns.
Spanking
Spanking is by far the most common method of impact play, and pretty much the only one that I have any meaningful experience with. Now I’m sure that all of you know what spanking is, but just to get it down in words, spanking is when the dominant strikes the submissive’s ass or upper thighs. Most commonly this is done with the dominant’s hand but can also involve them using a riding crop, paddle, hair brush, ruler, wooden spoon, cane, or one a hundred different household items our mothers threatened us with at some point in our childhoods. For spanking, the submissive’s position is usually bent over a bed, a desk, or their dominant’s knee, offering the most advantageous position to land a nice hefty blow.
Along with this, dominants can also sprinkle in a few other tools to help enhance the experience of the spanking.
As always, dirty talk, dirty talk, dirty talk. Use this liberally but use it well. Let your submissive know how much you’re enjoying making them hurt, let them know that you enjoy hearing them yelp or whimper, taunt them when they flinch, it’s hot as fuck, trust me. Honestly a good scene is like 40% dirty talk, 40% letting the submissive dig themselves into a hole, and 20% actually doing the kinky thing.
Also, if you are using spanking as a punishment, make sure to have the submissive count off their blows and thank you after each one. It really reinforces the lesson, and instills a mindset that you are providing a service to them by disciplining them for wrong behaviour. Kind of like, “I don’t want to hurt you, sweetie, but you’ve forced my hand.” Also, it’s really hot when you get near the end and you hear their voice start to waiver and weaken.
Also, I find that spanking goes really well with roleplays and costumes, though this could totally just be a personal preference. But I find that when you take on a role (maid, slave, student, etc.), spanking is a very potent tool for punishing you for a transgression (failed to clean something, failed to provide a service, failed to pass a test, etc.).
Flogging/Whipping
Now I am going to preface this by saying that I have never actually partaken in a flogging or whipping so my own experience in this regard is purely superficial, coming largely from porn. I do want to try out this fetish one day, though I do respect that my doms are uncomfortable with this and that is totally ok.
Though this does mean that I really don’t have a whole lot to say on this subject. The two activities usually involve blows being delivered to a wider range of the body, usually along the back, though also occasionally to the chest and breasts (if you have those).
This type of impact play usually has a way higher skill floor, meaning that this really isn’t something you’d take on during your first few sessions and you should really learn from actual experts in the field.
Whipping and flogging also differ in positioning. Usually the submissive is standing and can often be bound with their hands above their head or maybe tied to a post or St. Andrew’s cross. This gives the dominant a nice vantage to deliver blows, offering up a greater part of the submissive’s flesh.
Punching
A relatively uncommon form of impact play and one that I honestly know very little about. As far as I’m aware, it pretty much involves punching the impact site and seems like a more intense form of an open-handed slap used for spanking.
Could be fun?
I’ll have to see if someone wants to try it out with me.
Face Slapping
I mean it’s written on the box; this is delivering a slap right across the face. Now I’m actually going to break my streak by saying that I have experience with this method, as I have had a dom slap me across the face repeatedly during a scene.
Obviously, the blows aren’t delivered with too much force, and the activity is more for show, allowing the dominant to shut up a mouthy sub or establish their dominance rather easily. Like every other kink, dirty talk is extremely beneficial. Like for real, a slap across the face is nice, but a slap across the face followed by the dom calling me a whore? Now that’s a hell of a lot better.
This fetish also works really well when you grab the sub’s face afterwards. You know, start with a slap to establish dominance, then grab their reddened cheek, forcing them to look you in the eye as you snarl some very naughty words a them.
Honestly, the only thing I really need to add here is to be cautious with this one. Start by slapping lightly and work your way up to that sweet spot because you need to remember that too hard of a slap could cause a concussion.
Though I guess we can talk more about this in the next section, safety.
Hitting Someone Safely
We are yet again confronted by another one of those wonderful questions that come to the forefront of discussions on BDSM, and more specifically sadomasochism. How do you safely hurt someone? How do you ensure that a temporary hurt does not become a long-term harm? I will state that these activities come with risks and it is the job of a good dominant and submissive to manage these risks effectively.
On the low end of the risk spectrum there is bruising, which for some people (myself included) might be something that you are actually actively seeking out. But in more extreme cases you can leave cuts on the body — especially with whipping, you can damage organs, you can break bones, and you can even cause a tenderizing effect where your body’s fat and muscles break down, leading to lactic acid poisoning. Impact play can lead to death and you should be aware of that before considering it.
Now how do we ensure that it doesn’t.
Well we have just completed the first step. Before going into any kink it’s important that all parties involved fully understand the possible risks associated with it. All the subs and doms involved with the scene should have a solid understand of what they are getting into.
Next, as with any scene, consent is the one of the important steps. Make sure that all parties fully consent to the scene and make sure to put safety measures in place to allow either party a chance to break the scene, with clear and easy to understand safe words or signals.
Now we can actually begin to look at the things to do in scene to improve the quality of the scene and safety of the actions.
First, determine the locations that are safe to deliver blows to. What you should aim for are regions of the body that are especially fatty, as this fat protects all those valuable organs and bones that are very important for living a functional and fulfilling life. This means that you want to aim your blows for places like your butt, your upper thighs, and your back near the shoulder blades (where it’s fatty). If you are especially skilled, blows can also be delivered to the breasts, lower thighs, calves, and chest. The face may also be slapped, though since it is generally not fatty, blows here should be far more controlled and gentler.
In fact, here, have a diagram from the BDSM wiki. Aim for the green, consider the yellow, and avoid the red.
Second, warm up, both in terms of the immediate scene and as a more long-term goal. Don’t just jump right into the deep end and bring out the toys that cause the most pain. This will likely only result in a less than ideal experience.
Instead, work up slowly. For example, say I am planning an impact scene with my dom that features a belt, a hair brush, and a crop. I know which of these hurts the least and most. So, the dom should start slow, using his own hand to warm up and get me accustomed to what we are about to do. Then he would likely select the belt and offer a few lashes, then the crop, before finally settling on the hair brush, the most painful item in our collection.
This same principal also works in the long term. Start with a hand for a few sessions, then slowly work up to more and more extreme toys until you reach a point you are content with. Now sadly, this is all related to spanking since… I don’t know what warm up would honestly be like in terms of punching, flogging, or whipping, but I assume the principal is largely the same.
Though, while doing some research for this I did discover one part exclusive to whipping, and that is the art of wrapping. Wrapping happens when the whip impacts at a point that is not the tip, but rather somewhere father up the cord, this leads to the remainder of the cord wrapping around the submissive’s body, furthering the damage and pain of the blow. While this is a mistake, the vast majority of the time, and can really hurt a sub, in a skilled hand, wrapping can be an agreed upon aspect of the scene. Take this tid bit of information as a kind of second-and-a-half point, since I didn’t know where else to include it.
Third, learn to read body language. This kind of works together with the whole warm up aspect. It’s important for a dominant to learn their sub’s body language and cues. Learn to recognize that point where a sub is transitioning away from pleasure and into the realm of raw pain, and start to use your judgement in order to avoid them having to safeword their way out of a situation.
It is also important to check up on them regularly. After all, affirming a green safeword is just as important as respecting a yellow or red. It doesn’t even really need to be scene breaking. You can growl in their ear asking if they enjoyed that, or yank on their hair and make a comment about how wet they are and see how they react.
Fourth, after care. After care. After care. After care. This is always an aspect that is lacking in porn and even I’m guilty of this. But after a nice session of getting your butt beaten, it’s important to take some time to check up on one another and to kind of crawl your way out of subspace and back to the real world (unless you’re 24/7, in which case it’s crawling your way from super subspace to moderate subspace).
In impact play scenes, it can even become necessary to treat wounds during your after care, so be prepared for that. Maybe use a little aloe on bruises or a tenderized ass, and always make sure to clean up and dress any little nicks and cuts that are left behind.
And lastly, take breaks.
What I mean by this is two-fold. In the short term, pace the scene out so that the level of pain never ramps up to an uncomfortable degree. Make sure to take breathers if you notice your sub starting to falter a little. After all, a punishment of twenty lashes is a punishment of twenty lashes, doesn’t matter if it takes five minutes, ten, or twenty. This also plays into the concept of warming up mentioned earlier. Initially it might be beneficial to space out your blows and pick up the pace after the sub has adjusted to the intensity of the scene.
In the long term, this means giving the submissive time to recover from a scene. Bruises and wounds will need time to heal and not giving the submissive enough time to do so could lead to them being hurt or having health issues in the long term. Impact play is very much a sometimes food, it’s something that you do on occasion and should really be used to accent other scenes, being more of a spice than a substantial meal. After all, I’m sure you have plenty of other fetishes that you’d also love to dabble in and explore.
With that, I think that is all the safety information I really have to share. If I did miss anything let me know in the comments. As I always state, I am just one girl and my views are marked by my experience level and world views. God knows I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth with these blogs in the past.
Anyways, onto why I enjoy Impact Play.
Why I enjoy being hurt?
I mean the title says it all, I will admit that I am a bit of a masochist and impact play offers me a healthy and relatively sane outlet for seeking out this pain. I love the sensation of my partner delivering each blow and I love that little sting or thud that comes after a nice hefty smack. I love being pushed to my limits and feeling my voice and willpower falter as the number of punitive lashes crosses into the double digits.
Part of me also really enjoys it from the point of view of a punishment as it blends together a very real sensation of pain, with a scene centred around discipline. There is just this wonderful moment right before I am to receive a spanking, where I am talked down to by a disappointed dom who now needs to correct a problematic behavior of mine. This is only added to as I am bent over their bed or knee (if they are brave enough to bear my weight) because it reminds me that this is a punishment meant for indignant children, and that’s what I am, a childish brat who needs to put in their place. Then finally the blows start to come and I’m expected to count them off and thank my dom, giving them respect for having the willpower to correct me. It’s this wonderful mixture of humiliation and masochism, which is just the right level of intensity that it doesn’t push my boundaries.
Then there is also the angle that it comes with this weird and perverse sense of accomplishment. I treat blows like a point system and I’m always eager to try and best my high score. Plus, I love being hit by tools that leave behind bruises, as I cherish these marks as their own little accolades and accomplishments. They’re lingering proof that I was a good girl and took my punishment like a champ.
So, I guess to summarize, I like spanking because it hurts in the right way, it makes my punishments feel real — and like my actions have consequences, and that there is a sense of pride I feel at being pushed to my limits. Oh also, just as a side note, they sound really freaking good. Just that nice hefty smacking or thudding sound followed by a pained mew, whimper, or yelp (depending how hard and how far along we are).
This feels kind of short? But uh yeah, Impact Play and me don’t really have that complex of a relationship. I like pain and discipline, impact play delivers these. It’s like we’re two peas in a pod. Anyways, how about we look at my impact play collection?
My Collection
Hand
The simplest piece in an impact play arsenal, the human hand. Statistically, every person should have a little less than two of these bad boys. Still, the hand is a fantastic tool for several reasons. First off, the wide surface area ensures that a greater portion of my butt is getting spanked which more evenly distributes the force, making it ideal for warming up, while also ensuring that it leaves a bright red mark over a wider region.
Now you probably won’t be getting any bruises by using this (unless the person doing the spanking forms a fist) but the hand does come with the added bonus of being kind of intimate. With most other types of impact play, the tool kind of acts as a buffer between dom and sub. It’s the tool that hurts you, not the dom. But with the hand, that barrier is broken down. It is your dom hurting you, it is your dom punishing you, it is your dom.
Pain Rating: 4/10
Quality Rating: 7/10
Wooden Spoon
While my mother was never one to use spanking as a punishment, I do remember being threatened with a wooden spoon more than a couple of times. When I became an adult, and started to dabble in impact play, I learned what a wonderful tool the humble wooden spoon could be.
The sturdy material and small surface area ensure that you can deliver controlled blows over a relatively small impact site. This means that the blows are often more painful and are felt deeper into your butt. This in turn can lead to bruising if the blows are especially harsh.
While a humble addition, it punches well above its weight, and can be a fun little add-on for colouring and cleaning up the places missed by larger tools.
Pain Rating: 6/10
Quality Rating: 8/10
Belt
A classic. A nice sturdy belt folded in half is a very useful tool in impact play. The design (narrow but long) creates these wonderful red marks that form on the butt in nice long streaks. While the pain is a bit more bearable than the wooden spoon — which was honestly surprising to me — it can still offer a pretty potent sting that’s about equivalent to a hand.
It can also offer a pretty nice build up. Just picture this. You’re on your knees, knowing that you’ve done something wrong. Your dom walks in, not even addressing you. He stands by his chair and undoes his belt, slowly pulling it loose. You can hear it glide through each of the loops of his jeans until he finally has it free. He then sits down and pats his knee, your punishment is about to begin.
Pain Rating: 4.5/10
Quality Rating: 8/10
Ruler
Pretty much I bought these because I might have a, not so secret, schoolgirl fetish and I wanted my dom to beat my ass with a ruler. However, I cheaped out and got like a set of dollar store rulers. So, they kind of really fucking sucked. They were too light and they did little more than make a nice loud cracking noise. There was little pain or heft behind the blow. All around it was a pretty disappointing experience.
Now, this isn’t to say that all rulers suck. In fact, I really want to look around and see if I can find myself a proper metre stick. Like one of those old school classroom ones that are a centimetre thick and made of a nice solid wood. I think my results would be far better with one of those. However, within my current collection, the two rulers I own fucking suck.
Pain Rating: 1/10
Quality Rating: 1/10
Note: Probably be very fun if I got a proper ruler.
Riding Crop
Alright, so I am kind of cheating here since the riding crop is my boyfriend/dom’s, and not my own. However, he only ever uses it on me so I think it counts!
As a tool designed specifically for striking flesh, it does the job really well. The good length of the crop means that the force of the blow is multiplied nicely, ensuring that it leaves behind a rather painful and purplish welt/bruise. It also has a great degree of control and accuracy and is especially good for striking my upper thighs (something that it and the spoon have in common).
My only complaint is that it broke on our second encounter using it :c. It wasn’t even a cheap Chinese product; this was a Made in America item being used for its intended purpose.
But still, a crop is a nice investment for anyone looking to get a bit more specialized into impact play.
Pain Rating: 7/10
Quality Rating: 3/10
Hairbrush
Holy fuck I can not sing this hairbrush enough praise. It is honestly the best thing to have ever smacked my ass. The wooden backing is nice and thick and has this nice meaty thud that just hurts so good. Honestly, it is more intense than the crop and I can only endure maybe a dozen lashes from it before I am a completely broken mess who needs to take a break.
And don’t even get me started on the marks it leaves behind. A nice meaty strike is guaranteed to leave a bruise. And what a wonderful bruise it is. Its this amazing horseshoe shape that just looks absolutely gorgeous and is a nice tender reminder that sticks with me for days.
Also, it has this really fun dichotomy to it. Like you can switch from using it to hurt a sub to a tool used in aftercare. Imagine using this to just ruin your sub and then casually switch to brushing their hair as you sing them praise for how good they were.
This is by far my favourite tool.
Pain Rating: 10/10
Quality Rating: 10/10
Now I obviously expect these reviews to change as I become better versed in impact play but these are the scores I give each tool at my current skill level. Like I could easily see a rattan cane or whip eclipsing the humble hairbrush, but still, these are articles for amateurs, written by a novice so…
yeah…
Conclusion
Spanking is a wonderful entry point into the world of sadomasochism, offering a dynamic level of pain and intensity which is suited for amateurs, novices, and experts alike. It’s mixture of pain and intimacy makes it one of my favourite kinks and I enjoy getting to experience it with every dom I’ve ever had. Each has their own unique approach that makes it feel fresh and exciting.
While approaching impact play, just remember to be well-informed on what you are doing and to always take the necessary safety precautions. And remember that your comfort level might be different from that of someone else. There is no wrong way to enjoy this kink, no matter if it’s done with a bullwhip or if you never progress beyond your partner’s hand.
That’s the joy of kinks. Kinks are not a race but rather a seasoning to sprinkle onto your sex life. Maybe you season your food a little less than someone else, but as long as you’re enjoying it, then you’re doing it the right way.
Also check me out on Twitter where you can yell at me if I fucked up this article in any way.
